2018 looks set to be a bumper year for off-the-wall grievance-mongering by Scottish cybernats and their ideologically intoxicated kith-and-kin in the broader ranks of Scottish nationalism.
The New Year was still being welcomed in when cybernats first hoisted the well-worn flag of fake victimhood: “Can’t help but notice that they’re still dubbing Big Ben’s bongs over the Edinburgh fireworks. A constant reminder of who’s in charge.”
New Year coverage by Sky News was simply Tory-dictated cultural genocide: “Are you even aware Edinburgh had their New Year’s display, or is this your instructions from Theresa May, calling Scotland North Britain, and now not even Edinburgh is a capital with a fireworks display and mass crowd?”
The appearance on Hogmanay television of writer, broadcaster and journalist Muriel Gray was another trigger for nationalist ire, even if some cybernats could not even spell her name:
“Yoon Muriel Gray trying to rile Proclaimers, who are very much Yes supporters. She is a Scottish cringe, hates everything about Scotland that bashes her beloved London-Westminster.”
“I can take the First Minister and Alex Salmond jokes. But Muriel Grey? And what – no Ruth the Mooth (i.e. Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson) sketches? Off you fu*k.”
Not even the commercial breaks offered any relief from the suffering endured by Scotland’s tormented patriots: “British Tunnocks advertising on STV now. A big advert too. Why are they advertising? Are they losing sales?”
The responses to the question were only too predictable:
“Fuck ‘em. … Hope the traitors go bust soon. … Fake Scottish products, they’d prefer to be British. … Go out and buy some Lees (i.e. Lees of Scotland confectionary). … Just continue to boycott their products. In the end they will sell out and a decent Scottish company will buy it out.”
You might think that nothing could be more offensive than the Scottish media broadcasting the chimes of Big Ben, Muriel Gray (or Grey) and an advert for Tunnocks teacakes.
But you would be wrong.
Scottish media reports of problems in the Scottish NHS and the use of Scottish Labour press releases by Scottish newspapers ratcheted cybernat Hogmanay indignation up to fever pitch.
The former were fiction and a diversion from the real problems in England:
“I like how the Scottish media thinks if it screeches loud enough about non-existent problems in our NHS, we won’t notice that England’s has completely fallen apart.”
“In the face of continual attack on anything Scottish by the mainstream media, comparing like for like (i.e. comparing the performance of the Scottish NHS and English NHS) puts the issue into perspective. Why don’t you so-called journalists give proper balance to the public?”
“We have a Pravda/Tass situation in reverse. The Scottish-based media attacks its own government and institutions in order to deflect from the London-based government’s appalling record.”
Media use of Scottish Labour press releases was proof positive that Scotland was not a democracy:
“The Labour Party is in charge of the MSM news in Scotland. This is astonishing. (Not really astonishing, but proof of a corrupt unionist media.) … The press colluding with any/all opposition parties. We do not live in a democracy. If we had a balanced press, we’d be independent by now, and would have been for decades.”
The cybernats’ Hogmanay hostility to the mainstream media was so splenetic that even an innocuous tweet by a BBC reporter flagging up the 25th anniversary of the Braer oil tanker spillage was further proof of anti-SNP hostility:
“Jeezus, man. When does it stop! This is no longer bias but an all-out attack on the Scottish Government/SNP. Someone has to call this to account.”
(The Braer oil spill was in 1993. The SNP came to power in Holyrood in 2007. But never mind the details. Smell the self-righteous venom.)
Some cybernats siezed on the New Year celebrations to remind cult-followers of the updated boycott list of “individuals and companies who urged our country to vote ‘No’ in 2014. … They hit our country hard while committing tyranny. In 1745 people who voted against their sovereign nation could be hanged or jailed.”
The list not only included all the old favourites (BBC, B&Q, Royal Mail, “workers unions”, Lulu, Kenny and Gabby Logan, and the late David Bowie, etc., etc.) but also more recent additions to the boycotters’ Parcel of Rogues in a Nation.
Apart from the pro-independence (but not sufficiently pro-independence) Sunday Herald, the most prominent newcomer to the ever-growing boycott list was writer and historian Neil Oliver. (In 2014 he had called for a ‘No’ vote. His appointment as President of the National Trust for Scotland last October provoked the inevitable cybernat call for a boycott.)
The Herald, having collaborated with Scottish Labour by using its press releases, was singled out by boycotters in their New Year Dishonours List: “You can hasten the death of the Herald by not sharing their articles. Then they don’t get advertising revenue. It’s a mercy killing.”
For the Auld Enemy – more commonly known as ‘the BBC’ – only total closure would satiate the cybernat lust for vengeance: “When we get independence, Pacific Quay (BBC Scotland headquarters) will be closed. Permanently.”
Or maybe permanent closure was the soft option:
“Their charter was recently re-written to include ‘maintain the union’ and ‘no surrender’, or words to that effect. Frankly, everyone at Pacific Quay should be corralled on a prison ship, sailed out to the mid-Atlantic, and sunk.”
Hardly the spirit of “For auld lang syne, We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet.” But never mind. The cybernats’ Hogmanay hatefest had plenty more targets apart from the BBC.
When newly elected Scottish Labour Party leader Richard Leonard posted his New Year’s Message on social media, the cybernat response was one of ethnic denunciation:
“Go home and sort your own country out first, before trying to interfere in Scotland! … Leonard is an Englishman so Scotland is not his country and he knows little about it or its politics. He knows even less than his boss Corbyn.”
“Happy new year from Scottish Labour. Now listen to what this Englishman has to say to you about Scottish Labour’s plans. … It seems Mr Leonard, the lost Yorkshire lad in Scotland, has missed something. The SNP have done more in Scotland in 10 years than your shower of perverted unionist clowns could not do in 300 years.”
No chance, then, of “this Englishman” helping fulfil one cybernat’s vision of Scotland’s future: “I don’t want to purity-spiral over this. I just want to keep Scotland as Scottish as possible. In the future I would put in place policies which encourage Scots to marry other Scots.”
Other cybernat messages of festive cheer for the Scottish Labour Party and its leader included:
“As humpy-backed as William of Orange – not sorry to all those yoons – this is my family and descendants I’m here for. .. Retweet this to infinity: Richard Leonard is slimy, sleekit Labour liar. … Scotland’s Branch Office Labour Party is selling out Scotland and her people.”
“There is no Scottish Labour Party (i.e. British Labour). You sound just like Jim Murphy. You have no power to deliver anything in Scotland. You stand with the Tories and the DUP on the Union.”
“The Labour Party is not an alternative. It has never been an alternative. Labour is the British establishment’s back-up plan. … They would side with the National Front against the SNP. … Richard Leonard’s strategy is to keep Scotland as a region under a Tory government in Westminster.”
SNP MPs and MSPs readily joined in with this cybernat chorus of denunciations of Scottish Labour as Tory collaborators. “Labour still acting as human shields for Tories,” tweeted Angus McNeill MP, while Humza Yousaf MSP tweeted:
“Scottish Labour don’t even hide it any more. They openly want to hand power from Holyrood to the Tory Westminster government. All because of their deep-rooted hatred for the SNP. Keir Hardie would be spinning in his grave!”
But even in the midst of this Yoonionist hell of Big Ben, Muriel Gray, Tunnocks adverts, high treason by the fourth estate, Labour Gleichschaltung of the Scottish media, and the resurrection of William of Orange as Scottish Labour Party leader, cybernats still found a cause for Hope.
And that cause for Hope resided in just two words – “Poileas Alba”:
“Saw my first ever police vehicle with ‘Police’ in two languages tonight. One in English, the other in Gaelic. Massive feeling of pride that Scots are taking their country back. Thanks @thesnp, @scotgov and @policescotland.”
Perhaps “Poileas Alba” could assist the same cybernat with his enquiries into the as yet uncovered crime of the century:
“Anyone know where the postal ballots for Scottish independence were stored and counted? Looking for conclusive proof that they were taken to somewhere in England and counted there. Thanks.”
Conspiracy theories, consumer boycotts, fake victimhood status, moral self-righteousness, divisive nationalist bigotry, and flags (lots of them). For the cheerleaders of Scottish nationalism 2018 is already shaping up to be pretty much like 2017. And every other year.