Dry gardening magazine articles.
Fair enough if you just want a nice garden that you don't have to be arsed to water too often. But this is being marketed as the latest weapon in the war against climate change.
Wake up. Global warming is not caused by me watering my begonias too much. And the solution does not lie with me creating a desert landscape in my small back yard in Hackney.
Nah, mate. It's production you want to be looking at, much more than consumption. Get those big companies to stop spewing poison into the atmosphere. And while you're at it, get the water companies to fix the leaky pipes. (Thames Water, by the way, is sponsoring Ken 'scab' Livingstone's dry gardens campaign. Ahem, but, it would, wouldn't it??)
Tackle the corporate sector?! Oh no - that would involve reining in profit-thirsty capitalist enterprises, wouldn't it? No chance of that, then.
Best stick to trying to persuade Janine to replace the clematis (pictured) with cacti. No chance of that either.
- More than a fiver to take your kid swimming.
Five pounds five pence in fact. And that's just me and one kid. Take the whole family and we'd need to ring one of those loan companies that advertise all day long on Channel Five.
Look, there's a public health crisis about childhood obesity, right? But a swim in a public pool (in this case, a pool run by a not-for-profit company on behalf of the local council) costs more than a Happy Meal. With extra fries.
So how about the government make swimming and other sports free for kids (and any grown-up who has to accompany them), and fund it by taxing the ill-gotten profits of the junk food companies?
Er, cos that would involve reining in profit-hungry capitalist enterprises, wouldn't it? No chance of that, then.
Best stick to laying guilt-trips on parents and leave them to fight a losing battle against Ronald McDonald.
Anyone spot a theme emerging here?